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| Some people ask me, what music you like. My reaction is "Hip Hop, duh." But why, it's so degrading, it's all about getting drunk and smoking dro and big booty bitches shakin' that ass in videos.
I laugh. I wonder if there are people in this world who know what hip hop is. It's not just genre of music, but a culture. It's multi-cultural.
So what is hip hop?
Is it the Cadilac Escalade on 24" Chrome rims favored by the East Coast? Or is it the Cadilac Cutless Supreme on 15"s favored by the West?
Is it the BBoy battles originated in New York? Or the Clown and Krump battles originated in LA?
Is it about talking about your struggle through poverty and your hustle? Or is it about talking about bling bling, grills, and girls?
Is it about taggin' up the corner of a building with your cliques name? Or is the the beautiful graffitti ART on the side of a subway?
Is it about the bassy drums of Lil Jon? Or the gangster stuff you hear from Snoop Dog?
Is it about a DJs who get payed to play song after song? Or is it about DJs who like to play the breaks of the record and start scratchin' and cuttin' it up?
Is it about having barely enough to buy clothing? Or is it about baggy jeans and oversized clothing?
Is it the freestyle battles and tests of style and tests of self? Or is it about getting paid to rap something someone else wrote?
Is it the jazzy elements brought to you by Pete Rock and CL Smooth? Or is it the "club bangers" played on the radio or commercial rap favored by most people?
Is it about being black and what today knows as the starters of hip hop? Or is it about being white and still being able to have style that impresses black people?
Is it about races at all? Or is it about what kind of car you drive?
Is it about being on the streets of Brooklyn selling your mixtapes like Jay-Z did? Or is it about takig the road to riches and now fancy cars and a mansion, like Jay-Z did?
Is it about staying true to your roots and preserving the culture like people such as Talib Kweli, Mos Def, KRS One, Common, Sadat, Black Thought and others? Or making what people like such as 50 Cent and comercial heads of the media?
Is it the old school ways of living life and playing music? Or this new invention of the internet to spread media?
"Hip Hop is beautiful to me because it always challenges America's notion of what they believe young disenfrachised people to be." - Mos Def
Fortunately and Unfortunately to all these questions, someone would say yes to. Hip Hop has proven to the world that it is diverse and it is in fact a culture. Hip Hop effects how people act, think, speak, walk, react, and almost dictates a persons character. I love it. How do people create such successful and maybe not so successful but creative ideas such as BBoying, freestyling, DJs, dancing, singing, rapping, blinging, and everything hip hop has to offer. It is the best thing that ever happened.
I'd like to thank DJ Kool Herc, the father of Hip Hop. Black Star, Slum Village, Common and people who try to preserve what hip hop was and is. People such as 50 cent, make want to not listen to hip hop yet he must be thanked because he also contributes to hip hop in a way. I think if it wasn't for people like him, the people like black star and others listed above wouldn't have much drive to preserve the culture. I'd like to thank Rock Steady Crew, for dedication to their dance. They ARE hip hop. Lil Jon is also on my thank list, for getting crunk with it haha. I don't know who else to thank right now because I wrote a lot, I think so...But if you feel you contributed to this culture we call hip hop, I thank you because you make me want to live this way.
So this was totally random..and I was kinda just...freestylin' haha stream of consciousness style bitches. Ok. Uh..rambling complete.
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| Wait..God fucking Damn it.
Parents just ruined my whole damn day. Fuck.
Now, I'm not happy. Fuck off why don't they?
Nice fucking timing too. Idiots. Leave me alone.
Oh man. Shyt was GUTTA today.
Excuse my foul butchered-up language but, excitement overwhelms me too much.
Ok
So
work today, I met some dudes who are going to work with me. Work at
the new place that isn't finished and those niggas is hilarious. OMG.
One challenged me to basketball so I'm going to place money on myself
tomorrow and come out $100 richer. Or depends on how much I bet. It
was funny because those two always try to get on me and I was really
RANKIN' them. All the girls was watching this one black dude, Deon,
and he was nervous as fuck. I stood next to him whispering, "don't
mess up kid. Better stay on point nigga girls is watching." LOL.
Funny. This guy who plans to drop out of high school, KC, he thinks I
don't play basketball and wants to 'whoop' me at it. Although I
haven't played in a couple months, I plan to KICK HIS ASS. That's what
I do. Also I told KC that this one girl working with us [she's like
black and asian looking.] that she was cute and he was going to talk to
her for me like I was scared but he didn't. Deon wasn't really trying
to get on me but it was funny when like all the girls were making him
shyt his pants and I'm there like, making him even more nervous. Well,
my parents are being gay, they want me to eat now so yeah. I'm outro
people. I love work, kinda. Myspace strike until my long dreaded date
of birth. Eh. Ok. Outro. =] | | |
| If sorrow implies a sense of loss or a sense of guilt and remorse; Grief implies poignant sorrow for an immediate cause; Anguish suggests torturing grief or dread; Woe is deep or inconsolable grief or misery; And regret implies pain cause by deep disappointment, fruitless longing, or unavailing remorse; Then which word accurately describes this intricate emotion?
The depiction of emotion and intangible things of the like using words as tools can never be.
Doesn't that suck anus?
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| Life so far..
I finally let go of a tie keeping me down. Keeping me, Charles, and my balloon of life from the skies. I see horizons broader than a legalized blonde. [LOL if you got that.]
I have summer school for English 9. It's ridiculously easy. I don't know why I can't just take a test and get credit. Ironically, my 11th grade Lit/Comp. teacher doesn't think I can do well for a RETAKE in Sophomore Honors English class yet she recommends me for AP next year. I'm taking both. Why couldn't I just do well? I've achieved a 4.0 in 7th grade and then underwent a transitional period when I moved for 8th grade and did somewhat poorly. I was still promoted to 9th grade with a 3.5ish gpa. At otay, the first grading period I had a 4.0. Then my dad announced that we were going to relocate. Relocate all the way up in Temecula. My grades dropped. I also remember "that exhilaurating feeling" and how I always used Jenny as a scapegoat to reality. How "in her presence, that exhilaurating feeling becomes an almost imaginitive, unreal bliss," kept me blinded from the real world. So I didn't do as well in school as I could of because frankly, I didn't care for anything; thus, horizons were narrowed. I hate to say this, however, that one solid thing in my life, I have to let it go. What was supposed to be solid but underwent some kind of morphing while I was secluded from the world. My lack of presence changed everything. My life flipped. Yet I seemed to find that spark of light. A good light. Not a fake light. A good feeling. Unexplainable. Yet, even if I've founds this new bliss, I must caution myself to the ways of the world. "Stay awake to the ways of the world" (Hi-Tek, Good Morning w/Talib Kweli). So, I'm kind of uhh..I don't know. Being paranoid I guess you can say. I didn't think someone, something, so close, can just become so distant, a vision in your mind is so blurred it can't be "made up." It's not like I can't see, however, I couldn't see anything so clouded in my mind before.
Wow, I was going to talk about school now and post-summer plans.
Anyways, I saw Click and Nacho Libre yesterday with the one and only Raiza. It was cool, both movies were pretty good. Raiza almost cried. HAHA. I was somewhat hungry [lol] but didn't want to eat. Um, I don't know what else to say. It was fun. Before I went it wasn't fun, the rents were being a pain as usual. I have to go, it's my brother's birthday although my parents are yelling and screaming and being that pain I mentioned. I'm off.
Charles "E" Wilder
FLASHBACK POST [for comprehension of this post.]
Heroes Spot on the space..
"Hero/Inspiration/Influence/Motivator/My better Half
Nobody has ever stuck to me like this woman. She really is a special girl. I'm sorry that I was always messing up with her, but she was the first person, the very first person, that I had a meaningful relationship with, even before any uncles, aunties, grandmas, grandpas, brothers, mothers [ ok, second to my momma =) ], fathers, 'friends,' and even 'best friends.' I've always had close friends, but I never thought of them to be there forever as Jenny his happily willing to be. Our relationship is on an exceedingly incomprehensible level, sometimes I can't even believe I have Jenny. She always knows what to do, knows how to make me laugh, and just her very existence gives me an exhilarating feeling because I know Jenny is there and is mine to keep. And in her presence, that exhilarating feeling becomes an almost imaginative, unreal bliss.
"
You can imagine what I feel if only words can properly depict emotions. But I think I can hit the nail almost on the mark don't you think? | | |
| Don't know if i spelled it right but..
Anyways..
So here's my life in a chronological nutshell.
x] Jenny's Birthday
x] She choses some guy over me
x] Mental Break down [or so i thought]
x] AP testing comes up
x] Even more mental strain
x] Parents decide to exert physical strain on my body during the 3 weeks before testing.
x] Mental , Physical stress.
x] Done with AP tests
x] Me = Celebration!!
x] San Diego time!!
x] Parents shut down my plans, deminish my entire self-esteem, no more cell phone, TV, internet, ANYTHING really.
x] No Jenny, SD, any electronic device.
x] Basketball practice =]
x] me = finding something happy finally..
x] Parents make me quit basketball....
x] Charles ends up with nothing...
x] Charles contemplates killing himself.
x] Fuck the world. I'm done with it son. Don't think anything has anything to offer me anymore. | | |
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